Being cool

I am not cool. Never was. Of course, in some ways I would like to be. But it never works. I am at ease and convincing when I am the way I am. This is probably true for all people but some still have the ability to cover things up. I find that if I try to do this, I get very soon very exhausted - and on people's nerves.

The same is true for the way I'm writing. I have some landmarks for this. Once, when I read in Metrodad's blog "...In the same manner that many completely humorless people (especially bloggers) think they're hysterically funny..." - I felt trapped. This feeling of being trapped reminded me that I am always tempted to write from my heart and to try to achieve something with it. Being funny for example. Or smart. Actually it's not even about being smart or funny, it's about trying to make others think and believe that I'm smart and funny. This kind of Impression Management is part of my automatic mode. I wish it became controllable...